He enjoys grilling elk that he shot with a bow, and he works out with the maniacal zeal you’d expect from someone who has favorite mushrooms. ![]() Joe Rogan used to be a tae kwon do state champion. Then I would go to the gym and crush it for about 18 to 20 minutes. It tastes like wet sand and looks like loose stool, and it’s hard to think of anything worse you might deliberately put in your mouth at 7 a.m. After that, I brushed my teeth with the only toothpaste Joe Rogan will let near his teeth, Onnit’s MCT Oil toothpaste, which is made of “bentonite clay and a touch of theobromine.” It promises “a completely new approach to oral care,” which I can confirm. I stirred a packet of Onnit Gut Health powder into my mushroom coffee, then downed an enormous pair of Alpha Brain pills, filled with nootropics to help with “memory and focus.”įor my breakfast on the go, I would eat an Onnit Oatmega brownie crisp protein bar, “crisp” being less a description and more a warning. ![]() I stuck to the health products, though, because you know how it goes-you buy one quad mace and soon your apartment is filled with them. ![]() Next, I took several vitamin supplements from a company called Onnit, whose core philosophy is “total human optimization” and whose website sells all kinds of wicked-cool fitness gear-a Darth Vader kettlebell ($199.95) a 50-foot roll of two-and-a-half-inch-thick battle rope ($249.95) a 25-pound quad mace ($147.95), which according to one fitness-equipment site is a weapon dating back to 11th-century Persia. (“I’ll have your most delicious thing, made from your least delicious things, please,” a friend said, scornfully.) But it tastes fine, and even better after another cup of actual coffee. As a coffee lover, the mere existence of mushroom coffee offends me. It’s a pour-and-stir powder made from lion’s mane and chaga-“two rock-star mushrooms,” according to Joe-and it’s made by a company called Four Sigmatic, a regular advertiser on Joe Rogan’s wildly popular podcast. I gotta see this movie again, I just gotta! But I looked for this movie on Netflix, and sadly it is not available.E very morning of my Joe Rogan experience began the same way Joe Rogan begins his: with the mushroom coffee. How could a young teenage boy NOT adore a film with dialogue like this? “I’m gonna be like everybody else! I’m gonna make friends! I’m gonna have fun! I’m gonna wear make-up, I’m gonna go out with boys, I’m gonna sleep with truck drivers and get crabs, and I’m gonna finally get to use my diaphragm!” Oh, and Glen is played by Judge Reinhold, just so you know.Īnother quote from the movie is the following said by Candy: Yeah, the whole movie is cheesy goodness like that. Like their names, which you find out during roll call. The movie is totally full of puns and funny one-liners and just flat-out schtick. The only thing is, I remember “Pandemonium” as actually being GOOD. In a way, I think this movie was a precursor to all of the terrible, recent horror movie spoofs that we’ve been subjected too. Tooth Decay pillow going “Nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah nyah!” Like Candy (or was it Mandy) who was obsessed with her white teeth and smile, and the killer choked her to death with massive quantities of toothpaste.Īnd then the killer taunted her dead body with a Mr. It took place at a cheerleading camp of some sort, where these terribly chipper cheerleaders got off’d one by one in humerous, over-the-top ways. I haven’t thought about or seen this movie in AGES (probably since 1982) but it has stuck with me to this day. So one became very familiar with certain films– even enamored of them.Īnyway, for some reason this morning I woke up thinking about a campy horror movie that I saw back then called “Pandemonium”. They also showed the same goddamn movies over and over and over again… a lot. Remember HBO in the 80’s? They had that cheesy rotating HBO logo with the rainbow lightshow swirling around the “O” at the beginning of every feature presentation. ![]() My family has finally gone upscale and we have cable… with HBO! The year is 1982 and I am in 7th grade (or Grade 7 for my Canadian readers).
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